Seeing signs of decline during the holidays? What families should do

by | Nov 4, 2026 | Advice For Seniors

Know what to look for

Changes may be subtle or more obvious.

Memory and thinking

  • Repeating questions or stories.
  • Forgetting familiar names or events.
  • Confusion about dates, places, or conversations.
  • Difficulty following conversations.
  • Poor judgment or unusual decision-making.

Physical changes

  • Noticeable weight loss or poor appetite.
  • Unsteady walking, falls, or difficulty getting up.
  • Poor hygiene or wearing the same clothes repeatedly.
  • Difficulty managing medications.
  • Increased fatigue or sleeping much more.

Changes at home

  • Unpaid bills or unopened mail.
  • Expired food in the refrigerator.
  • A messy or unusually neglected home.
  • Missed appointments.
  • Driving concerns or unsafe household situations.

Emotional and behavioral changes

  • Withdrawal from family and friends.
  • Increased irritability, anxiety, or suspiciousness.
  • Loss of interest in favorite activities.
  • Depression or personality changes.

What to do when you notice decline

Step 1: Have a compassionate conversation
Avoid confronting or embarrassing your loved one. Use observations rather than labels. Try: "I've noticed you've seemed a little more tired lately. How have you been feeling?"

Step 2: Compare observations with family
Talk privately with siblings or other relatives. Share specific examples, not assumptions. Determine whether the changes are new, gradual, or worsening.

Step 3: Arrange a medical evaluation
Encourage a visit with their primary care provider. Memory changes, weakness, and confusion can have treatable causes, including medication side effects, infections, dehydration, and sleep problems.

Step 4: Assess safety and daily functioning
Consider medications, cooking, driving, finances, bathing, mobility, and whether they are managing independently.

Step 5: Develop a family support plan
Decide who will follow up, who will attend appointments, and what additional help may be needed. Don't leave one family member carrying everything.

Important warning signs that shouldn't wait until after the holidays

  • Sudden confusion or dramatic personality changes.
  • Sudden weakness, facial drooping, or difficulty speaking.
  • A sudden inability to walk or care for themselves.
  • A fall with a possible head injury.
  • Signs of severe dehydration or serious illness.
  • Sudden confusion, in particular, can indicate delirium, infection, or another urgent medical problem. Don't assume it is dementia or normal aging.

What NOT to do

  • Don't argue with someone about their memory.
  • Don't announce concerns in front of the entire family.
  • Don't immediately take away their independence.
  • Don't dismiss changes as simply getting older.
  • Don't wait months to address significant concerns.
  • Don't make major decisions without involving the person whenever possible.

A holiday family checklist

Use this as an opportunity to observe and plan, not to test or judge your loved one.